So, some of you know that we are going to adopt our next child. We did all of the paper work and had our profile available to birth mothers for about a month, and then we found out that I was pregnant with Owen. So, we had to put everything on hold. When Owen turns 1 ( in March) we can resume with the process. I just thought I would try to explain our desire for adopting. It's hard to put into words why, exactly, we want to do this.
The more I read and understand adoption, the reason I want to adopt is becoming as much for the birth mother as it is for the child. We want to adopt a child that is not as likely to be adopted by someone else. Most people adopting want a white infant. We are open to a child of any race and one that might be a little bit older. The older a child gets, the less likely they are to be adopted. I think foster care is one of the saddest things. Children want a permanent home. I would love to adopt a teenager or sibling group (because those are the least likely to be adopted), but we were counseled that if you have children already, it doesn't create a good situation to adopt children older than the children you have. Also, we don't have the finances to adopt more than one child right now. As I hear birth mother stories I realize how tough and truly gut wrenching it must be to decide to allow someone else to raise the child that you carry for nine months and give birth to. I've heard them say that of course they wanted to keep their babies, but they also realized that they didn't have the resources to raise the child-whether that means money, maturity, a stable home... Most of the birth mothers that I've heard speak, say, in the end, they didn't feel like it was their child.
And on the other end-adoptive fathers. Most are hesitant. They don't think they could love a child that isn't biologically created by them. That's pretty understandable. BUT I've heard them say, as soon as they held the baby, they knew that was THEIR child. Adoption is so amazing. I know there will be challenges, but I'm excited. I truly believe that adoption is brought to us from God. I believe that some children are born into their families and others are adopted into their families. People think that being blood related is so important, but I'll tell you what -there are plenty of people who are blood related who just plain don't like each other.
6 comments:
Wow, Nat! I love it. Good for you. What a fun adventure. I am excited for you guys.
I'm awed by you. I have thought about adopting someday, but that's as far as it's gotten--a thought:)
Natalie, that is awesome!! You guys are fabulous for taking such a big step in life like that. I was reading in the Ensign this month (January) under the visit teach part about motherhood. You truly have a mother heart!!!!
I'm so excited for you guys to adopt. You have a great family to bring a child into. Any child would be so lucky to have you guys. Adoption is a miracle! I truly am amazed with the entire adoption process... and I, too, believe it is an amazing gift from God.
Natalie,
I am so touched by your reasoning and feelings. Thanks for sharing them. You are such a charitable person. I am less that way so you set the standard for our family. When you said you will have challenges, that is true. Children are always a challenge. I think love overcomes most problems though, eventually. Dad Warner
Wow! good luck with this whole process. i have a friend who couldn't have kids and adopted after doing foster care. Her kids were 5 and 3 when she first got them and it has been awesome for them, but those little ones did come with a lifetime of hardships that they will be working through with the rest of their lives. They really needed their new mom to help them through the hardships they faced and will face. I am sure you can be that kind of a mother to someone who really needs it. I am excited for you.
Post a Comment